Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Day 3

Today's topic:  Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Yikes.  Today's topic is scary stuff.....  There are 2 things that I have a hard time forgiving myself for.  Okay, if we're being honest, there are 3.....

One has to do with something that happened in college.  Something that changed my life and the life of another person forever.  Now, I will say that I wasn't totally the one to blame, but I put myself in a position that I shouldn't have.  For that, I need to forgive myself.  The thing is, I keep saying that I have forgiven myself {I've totally forgiven the other person}, but I keep returning to it and wishing I would've done something different.  Guess I really haven't forgiven myself...

The 2nd has to do with something I "did" to my exhusband while we were still married.  I honestly feel very guilty for this and I wish there was some way that I could go back and undo it.  But, it happened and I can't.  I guess the only choice I have is to pray about it {some more} and move on.  Besides, if I can't forgive myself, then how will God ever forgive me?

And well the 3rd... the 3rd is something that is in progress and I have the ability to change it still.  I just have to come up with the courage to do so.  {Cue Anxiety}
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2 comments:

teacherwoman said...

Wow. This is deep. Maybe putting it all down in writing will allow you to move on and forgive yourself?!

lindsay said...

I was thinking similarly - awfully deep for day3! Sometimes forgiving ourselves is the hardest to do. Hope you can work through these trouble spots of yours!